My close friends and family have seen me on the tough days, when smiling feels impossible (yes, I have had those days…). There are days when I honestly don’t know if I’ll be able to get out of bed.

I’ve been through a lot. Definitely not more than many but, quite possibly more than most (most my age, anyway). Despite all I’ve been through, I have learned through the years to remain as positive as possible. Deep down, I know that I always have a reason to smile. So, I can normally scrounge one up, even if it might be a little bit forced.

For the most part, I am pretty good at smiling through even the darkest days. I don’t smile because I have lost, I smile about what I had and what I still have. Yes, I have my little girl, a good job, and a roof over my head. I have lots of earthly things I can be grateful for! But, I am not promised forever with any of that so those can’t be my main reasons for being content.

Instead, and especially when things aren’t going according to my plan, I smile about having God… And about God having me.

I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. Philippians 4:12 

DONT STUFF IT

I don’t believe it’s ever smart to stuff your feelings. If you are mad, be mad. If you are sad, be sad. But, once those feelings have been let out, if it is at all possible for you to focus on the truths that you know, even just ONE truth, even just for a second. I would encourage you to. When anger boils back up, that’s fine. Let it out again. Just aim to go back to your place of happiness and contentment in the life that you have now.

The one truth you will want to focus on may just be that you know you are loved by a handful of people. Or, that you are loved by one person. Or, that you are loved by your dog. (Seriously, that’s ok too!) Or, (hopefully) it might be that you know that you are loved by the One who created you and knows you better than you know yourself. Can any of those truths bring you a smile today? And, if it can. Can you aim to try to fix your mind on those thoughts? To focus on the positives?

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. Philippians 4:8-9 

TIME TO CHOOSE, AGAIN

Unfortunately, things didn’t work out with my relationship here in Florida the way that we had planned. I won’t go into details but I can tell you that it has been very difficult.

Lies that float through my head: I’ll be forever single, I’m bad at relationships, I’ll never find my second “forever,” or being single for now or forever means I’ve failed (it doesn’t!). But instead, I am choosing to believe in the truths and think positively. Muster up as many smiles as I can! (And, I’m doing it!)

TRUTHS TO SMILE ABOUT

Here are some truths that make me smile:

1. God loves me! (Psalm 86:15)

2. God still has a plan for me! (Jeremiah 29:11)

3. God hasn’t forgotten me! (Deuteronomy 31:6)

God isn’t through with me. He has a plan for me. I believe in that plan and I know that I can go through a million dark days, knowing the truths above. It took me a while to really believe these truths. I questioned them for a while. But they are unquestionable to me now (maybe a blog post on this later). Anyway, the above applies to YOU, too.  YOU are loved, there is a plan for YOU and YOU are NOT forgotten!

So, here I am again. Another crossroad in my life (and maybe yours, too?) where I could choose to give into the fear… or choose to hold onto faith. I bet you can guess what I’m gonna do? What about you?

I originally wrote this post in April, just before I moved back to Seattle! I conquered my fear of packing and moving yet again! Fears, watch out! You don’t have nothing on me! Hopefully I’ll get to update you guys soon on what’s new since coming home. God definitely had plans for me back here and I know He put me in Florida for a reason. So awesome to look back at the crazy path He’s lead me on!