Baby Toes on Boots

Unnecessary Pressure

Sometimes, I think we all wish the world were black and white. No grey. No uncertainty. Just honest and clear truth.

If someone says they are ok that it would mean they are ok. If they say they are happy then it means they are happy. But, it doesn’t always work like that… And, it isn’t because this world is full of a bunch of liars. It’s because this world is full of a bunch of survivors.

Everyone has been through something. Everyone is fighting a battle of some sort. Some people process things quickly. Some people take more time. Still, others process in bouts and spurts.

There is no time limit on grief. And, in a way, we are all working through grief of some kind, to a degree. Ever since we were kids, we are trying to process why something didn’t go the way we thought it would.

We are always either grieving the lost, the dead or the broken…. whether it be our dreams or our people.

I read a book by Don Miller recently called Scary Close. In it, he talks about this idea… That two people can’t ever actually complete each other. He also talks about how Christians always think or say, “Well, duh, two people won’t complete each other. It’s a Jesus-sized hole that only Jesus can fill it.” But, Don doesn’t think that the Jesus-sized hole answer is a very good one… and neither do I.

I asked Jesus into my heart long ago and I have an amazing relationship with Him, but I still hurt sometimes. Things still sting. Death still reeks of wrong. I still grieve. And, the hole in my heart is never quite full, even before tragedy struck. If I’m honest, I have never been 100% fulfilled. There is always at least a little something missing.

A lot of people put a lot of pressure on their relationships or their goals. They think that the completion or fulfillment of their Big Dream should fill that hole in their heart.

That once they land their dream job, they’ll be satisfied.

That if they could just attain a certain kind or level of success, they will feel like they finally figured life out.

That if they are just with the right person, they will feel complete.

But, I think this pressure on each other and on our lives is unnecessary and false. It’s just not that black and white.

I think understanding this is important… for our young ones, for our society… for me. We should recognize that we are all broken people in some way. And maybe we are just supposed to be okay being broken together.

We can work toward a better world, but we shouldn’t come to expect a perfect one.

This world wasn’t meant to be everything we need. Even with God’s presence, it isn’t perfect. If you can’t identify something wrong in your life at the moment, flip the news on. There are things going wrong all over the place and it has been that way since God’s original plan went south in the Garden of Eden. Sure, you can have days or weeks or months that might feel perfect for you even, but sooner or later, something will feel off, something will lack. And the black and white will start to fade to grey.

No relationship or career or lifestyle will make you feel 100% complete because, hate to break it to you honey, but this side of heaven… You. Won’t. Be. At least, that’s what I think.

Most grief is necessary and it can’t be helped. But, I think some of it can. What if we didn’t worry so much about our brokenness? Or his brokenness? Or her brokenness? And instead accepted it and loved anyway?

How many of us grieve something that wasn’t supposed to be perfect anyway?

What do you think? Do you think people put too much pressure on their jobs or their significant others to be perfect for them? For their lives to be perfect? Share your thoughts below. Would love to hear from you.

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Proud mom, blogger, and coffee consumer

7 thoughts on “Unnecessary Pressure”

  1. For us believers we can never complete until we meet our Heavenly Father. Having said that, I have no doubt that I was 100% complete as a living human being can be in my marriage to Keith – there nothing I wanted or looked for outside of spending every single day loving and being loved by him. Grief, I agree, is meant to absorbed and coddled. For me, I am no longer feel so complete and must wait until it’s my turn to be called home for that to happen. I am not unhappy, and I feel as loved as I did the day I married him. I don’t think the hole his death brought to me is meant to be filled. I trust that my faith will help with the extreme sharpness of it’s edges going forward.

    Thank you for writing, I always look forward to each and every entry.

  2. I think it is important for “things” to never be “fulfilled” or “complete”. I think this is part of the master plan. If fulfillment and completion were the end-all of our existence, then what would be the motivation to go on? What would we have to strive for? What would we have to dream about? And, if we were to not have this “struggle” we would never be truly happy, because true happiness and life in fact, depend on the yin AND the yang; the good and the bad; salt and pepper; sweet and sour; etc. Life’s struggles are the very body of life, without which, life can not exist.

    Life is a revolution; an evolution.

    Just my point-of-view.

    1. Thank you for sharing, Hope! I agree with you… This is such a journey and we never “arrive.” The sooner we realize that, the better. :] God bless you, always!

  3. Thank you honey for sharing so thoughtfully! I love reading your blogs and the truth in them that the Lord reveals. We do live in a broken world and we need to have grace and love for one another…always…because we are, like you said, all working through grief of some kind, and we need to be ok being broken together! Jesus is the One that binds our hearts together in love and truth! I love you so much and am so thankful to be your “broken” Momma! :)

  4. I absolutely love your blog.. Excellent colors & theme.
    Did you create this web site yourself? Please reply back as I’m trying to create my own personal blog and
    want to find out where you got this from or just what the theme is named.
    Many thanks!

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